Author: Justin Hibbard

Justin Hibbard, a husband and father of three, is the Pastor of New Hope Chapel and the Director of Christianity is Jewish. Follow Justin on Twitter @JustinoHibbs.

Where was God During the Colorado Massacre?

Justin Hibbard1 Comment

Whenever a horrific event like the Colorado movie massacre occurs, it seems like the talking heads are suddenly interested in focusing on God and His will. These events call into question our social theology of general agnosticism or ambivalence towards God, and without fail, the conversation turns deistic. “Where was God during this chaos? Maybe God has turned His back on our society. We’re on our own!” I’m always amazed at how someone could be so disinterested in God one moment and be so sure they’ve figured Him out the next.

Someone asked me the other day if I thought 9-11 and this massacre is evidence that God has rejected us and has turned His back on our society. I’ve been giving that question a lot of thought.

As I mentioned last week, I think Governor Mike Huckabee said it best on his Fox News program. “We don’t have a crime problem or a gun problem – or even a violence problem. What we have is a sin problem. And since we ordered God out of our schools and communities, the military and public conversations, you know, we really shouldn’t act so surprised when all hell breaks loose.” The bottom line is that people are either getting their identity from Jesus or a device of Satan. For some people that leads them to addictions. For others, it leads to acquiring material possessions. And for others, it turns into a power hunger to take away the dignity and life from others. It’s not just a problem; it’s a wide scale epidemic.

Romans 1:18 says, “The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness.” How is God’s wrath being revealed? Verses 24, 26, and 28, use the same phrase – “God gave them over.” God allowed them everything their hearts desired. We beg for free will. We just have no idea of its ramifications until God lets us have what our hearts crave.

Sometimes I think we treat God like a cosmic condom. We fool around with astounding filth, and when some real consequence to our behavior slips in like a STD, we blame God.

You can see the trick Satan is pulling. He’s lured us away to a very dark place with very dark consequences and then convinces us to get angry at God for something we should have known was bound to happen. C.S. Lewis said, “The doors of hell are locked on the inside.” I would add, “and everyone is angry and bitter at God for not dwelling with them there.”

I realize that many of the victims in this case were little children. Some were military heroes. Some were even believers. Unfortunately, that’s the reality of sin. Like we see in the story of Achan in Joshua 7, sometimes our sin and unrepentance hurts those around us as much if not more than ourselves.

So when I see just the type of junk people are turning to in order to get their identity and the danger they are putting others in, here’s my question, “How in the world is it that this type of horrific violence doesn’t happen more often?” We live in a society that discourages Christianity, that applauds other religions, that celebrates sin and violence. How is it that this stuff doesn’t happen every day?

It’s in that question that we discover where God is. 2 Thessalonians 2:17 says, “For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work; only he who now restrains will do so until he is taken out of the way.” Paul tells us exactly where God is. He is here. It is the Holy Spirit that restrains evil, but here’s the real frightening part, one day He will no longer restrain it. As bad as our current violence is, can you imagine what will happen when the Holy Spirit stops restraining it? When God truly gives us over to reap the consequences of our sinful desires, can you imagine the carnage?

Scripture is clear. In the midst of our Sodom, God is here. The stories about miracles and salvation are pouring in amidst the overwhelming grief of those whose lives were lost. I read the other day of one of the wounded – a 22 year-old Christian girl who was born with an inconsequential minor brain defect. Basically, she was born with a tiny channel in her brain that ran from front to back. No one would have ever known about it, except when the doctors were trying to save her life, by removing a shotgun pellet from her brain. Turns out one went up her nose, and traveled along that channel from front to back. Seems like God knew exactly what He was doing when He created her. He knew exactly where she would be on Friday, July 20th, and He knew exactly what size object was going to try to kill her. If that bullet moved a millimeter in any direction or if that channel was smaller or non-existent, we would have a 13th victim.

Yet despite these amazing stories, sadly, families of the twelve victims are weighed down with unbelievable grief. It’s not just the fruit of some psycho or some weapons, it is the fruit of Adam and Eve. It is the fruit of believing that man can live on our own, that we can make our own rules, that we can get our identity from someone other than God.

Why God didn’t intervene to prevent all twelve deaths? I don’t know. But what I do know is that these moments are reality checks for our world. There’s a great line in the parable of the Prodigal Son. Speaking of the lost boy, it says, “When he came to his senses…” If anything, this serves as a moment of spiritual awakening. It gets us to ask, “Where am I, and how did I get so far from home?” We really have three options. We can either say, “God, I hate you for leaving me here and not protecting me in this hell hole. It’s all your fault.” Or we can say, “Well, that was a frightening lesson; hope it never happens again,” and return to our current state. Or we can say, “Father, I’m done living my life my way. I need you. Please take me home.”

Many of you are home, and this message is preaching to the choir. However, this is a message we can share to those who are lost and wondering what to do with all of this tragedy and confusion. Today, like in the case of Abel, the human blood of innocent bystanders cries out from the ground. It pleads for us to turn to Jesus. It’s time to come home to a Heavenly Father who loves us and desires to protect us from our own human will.

The Colorado Massacre and a Hijacked Identity

Justin Hibbard

I’m not much of a superhero buff, but there is something about these Batman movies that resonates within me – the story of an ordinary boy (no kryptonite or spider venom to aid him), struggling to find his identity, who later builds really cool toys and takes justice in his own hands. How many times have you walked out of a movie like this with a bit of swagger? For a moment, even if it’s just a second, you’re overcome with this desire to be the Robin Hood, the William Wallace, the Gladiator, the Dark Knight. We crave being lost in a life where we find a heroic identity.

That quest for identity drives us, and sometimes it drives us to dark places. Sometimes we’re so twisted, that we perceive the villain to be the hero. Enter James Holmes – a twenty-three year old “aspiring scientist,” dyed orange Joker hair, wearing a mask, body armor, and strapped with an arsenal of weapons. In a matter of a few horrific moments, he was no longer just an intelligent, well-mannered, quiet boy from San Diego. He starred in his own reality show where a self-delusional perception of psychopathic heroism became everyone else’s nightmare.

And so the questions begin: “Less guns, more guns, more psychiatric evaluations in universities, tighter supervision of movie watching?” And on and on. I think former Governor Mike Huckabee said it best the other night on his Fox News program. “We don’t have a crime problem or a gun problem – or even a violence problem. What we have is a sin problem. And since we ordered God out of our schools and communities, the military and public conversations, you know, we really shouldn’t act so surprised when all hell breaks loose.”

That “sin problem” is a real pervasive epidemic in our society, and when we get down to it, it’s an identity problem. People are lost – they don’t know who they are or who they should be. Satan lures us, hijacks our identity, and tells us we can find it in all sorts of places – money, work, sex, material possessions, media, relationships, substances. As long as we’re getting some answers, we’ll continue drinking the roofie contaminated kool-aid.

Here’s the scary, sobering reality, for which I will not apologize: anyone who finds their identity in something other than Jesus is finding it in some device of Satan, and it will lead to some sort of destruction. And you know what, Satan’s manipulating and sadistic enough that he doesn’t even need for us to give him the credit. He’ll give us enough luxury so we don’t think we need God or make us nice people so we don’t think we need to be different. He’ll offer us something to take away the pain and then offer us more to take away the side-effects. He’ll bring devastation or destruction to get us to blame God; or he’ll destroy our self-worth so we don’t aspire to be like God; or, like in the case of James Holmes, he’ll twist the definition of heroism and give us enough delusion to pull the trigger. He’ll lure us to the darkest corner of hell and then get us to question the goodness or existence of God when we can’t find Him there. Satan is the prince of this world – the mastermind responsible for creating Hitlers and nice people. He lures you to find your identity in him, and it’s a matter of roulette as to what kind of person he will turn you into. The only thing that’s certain is that his one interest is destroying you and those around you; you are a mere means to that end. The other day we saw just what type of catastrophic end one man’s hijacked identity can bring.

The Good News is that there is an alternative. In John 10:10, Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” There are only two options – the Thief or the Liberator, horrific death or abundant life, Satan or Jesus. The beauty of the Gospel is that we are invited to “snap out of it” and find our identity in Jesus. We don’t have to let Satan play roulette with our lives; we don’t have to take him at his deceptive word. We can say, “Jesus, give me your identity. Jesus, tell me who I am. Jesus, let my life be yours. Jesus, I want to be defined by you.” It is when we are lost in Jesus’ life, that we find ours. Like the parable of the treasure in the field, when we discover God’s heart, we discover ours, and that is the beginning of eternal, abundant, and beautiful life.

Our Father…

Justin Hibbard

There Jesus is standing on top the mount, delivering a sermon that will be iconized for ages, and it comes time to teach the people about prayer. Wow, this is huge. Jesus is going to say some words that will be repeated for centuries to come. What are the words He begins with? “Our Father…”

I imagine heads rolled and mouths dropped. Jesus just began with Abba – Daddy. That’s how we’re supposed to address the God of the Universe? What about “Holy, Infinite, Almighty, Omnipotent Creator of Heaven and Earth?” Wouldn’t that be more reverent? It might be okay for the Perfect Son to call God “Daddy,” but us? Is it really okay?

I have a friend who begins her prayers with “Dearest Dad.” I love it, but I recognize that calling God “Daddy” may not be easy for some. When we hear words like “Dad, Daddy, Father, Papa,” they automatically conjure up images that relate to our earthly fathers. I know many have come from homes of abuse, neglect, abandonment, and the thought of calling God “Dad” does not bring any sense of comfort whatsoever.

Earthly fathers make an impression on our lives; that’s how God designed the system. Men look to their fathers for love and affirmation. Daughters look to their fathers for affirmation of beauty and a sense of self worth. When this doesn’t happen, they go elsewhere. Some people are always looking to other men to be their father, some turn towards sexual relationships with men, and some turn to other addictive behaviors that give them the momentary sensation of affirmation, confidence, and love that they never received from their earthly dad.

The problem is that our earthly fathers and all other substitutes are imperfect. They’re imperfect because the world fell – sin entered in and flawed God’s perfect creation. However, our hearts still remember Eden. There’s something written, programmed within us that craves God our Daddy. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, “God has set eternity on the human heart.” He is the only One who can truly father us, and He is the only One who can give us an identity, a love, and an affirmation that will never leave us wanting.

We are taught that it is good in this life to be independent, to take the car keys, and leave home. Society teaches us that a sign of maturity is not calling home to ask for money or help. However, brothers and sisters, this should not be applied to our spiritual homes. We were never meant to leave Eden, to say “I’m okay Dad; I don’t need your help.” That might be a sign of maturity on earth, but in the spiritual realm, it is reckless.

God is your perfect Father, and He has designed a home for you. It is a home of permanence, a home of rest. In my life, I realized that He is longing for me to be a little boy – the boy that runs through the field without a care in the world, the boy that stands with his dad in the line for ice cream not worrying if he’s going to have enough change to buy the treat. God said to me, “Let me be your dad. Trust me son. Let me father this family.”

Your hearts are aching for your Heavenly Father. There’s a reason. Paul explains this in Romans 8. “The Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’” Today, come home to Him. Today, sit in His presence and ask Him to father you. Say to Him, “Father, what is it you want to tell me?” Let Him speak the words of His heart into yours.

Seeing the Wounds in Others

Justin Hibbard

Early on in my ministry, I worked with a man that was a thorn in my side.  He was negative, and even his encouragement had a negative tone.  He admitted his fondness for the verse in Hebrews 10:24 – “Spur one another toward love and good deeds,”  especially that word “spur.”  He loved to give people a good prodding.  He might even tell you that prodding was his spiritual gift.

I have to admit that for many years I hated working with this man.  I tried to love him, but I was afraid of him.  I was afraid that we couldn’t have a conversation without him delivering another blow.  My answer was to withdraw, to avoid him altogether.  The Lord revealed to me at the Wild at Heart Boot Camp that avoidance is my coping mechanism to people who wound me.  Instead of confronting them, I internalize the pain, let it eat me up, and withdraw.

I’ve shared with you some of my experiences discovering my own wounds, but something transformed within me that I never anticipated.  I began to see the wounds in others.

I know a woman, who sadly, will probably not be with us much longer.  She is terminally ill.  She is also one of the meanest and most negative people I know.  I hate to say this, but I’m not sure many will miss her when she is gone.  Something transformed inside of me during my trip to Colorado.  Instead of seeing this woman as a negative and mean woman,  I see a mask that she puts on to hide some deep-seeded wounds.  She is hurt – hurt by her physical wounds, the emotional wounds others have delivered to her, from a parent, from an unsupportive husband, from her own children, from her own experiences, etc.

The “Christian prodder” I mentioned earlier is no different.  In fact, I remember him revealing some of the anger that his father passed down.  I also know the “prodder’s” son, who serves in ministry.  I’ve always thought him to be controlling and manipulative.  Today I’m realizing that those are his coping mechanisms for the wounds in his life, many I’m sure were delivered by the “prodding” of his father.

You can see the pattern, can’t you?  Satan has rigged the game and blinded us to his tactics.  How do we deal with that “jerk” who wounded us?  We wound him right back by calling him a jerk (even if it’s just in our heads).  That’s us coping. That’s us not letting him get the best of us.    One is wounded by another, and the pattern goes on and on.  It’s like a scene right out of Hunger Games.  The only way to survive is to kill the others.  We convince ourselves, “This is the way we are to treat others.  This is normal.  The wounding I faced helped me to be a stronger man.”  No, they helped you become a more jaded man.  They taught you that you must do as the world does – put on more fig leaves and hide deeper in the jungles of Eden.

“Adam!  Eve!”  God calls.  “Where are you?”  Is it any wonder why people turn to self-medication instead of Jesus?  Overwhelmed by shame and coping mechanisms, we have built a false self, a false personality.  The thought of exposure makes us run the other way.  We have invested time, money, everything into sewing together an elaborate costume of fig leaves.  Be vulnerable?  No way!  It’s easier just to continue dishing out the blows.

When is this vicious pattern going to break?  The answer is when we see our wounds, bring them to Jesus, and help others bring their wounds to Jesus as well.  Through Jesus’ healing in my own life, I am starting to discover what it means to love my enemy.  It doesn’t mean that I have to roll over and take abuse; it means I look deep beyond the surface and see the wounds they are trying to hide.  Suddenly my anger for what people have done to me melts into pity, a desire for them to find healing in the Lord.

Here’s what I’d like you to pray today.  First, ask God, like we did last week, to show you the wounds in your own life.  Don’t be surprised if He reveals more to you.  Allow these scenes and faces to come to mind.  Ask God for healing.  Then ask God to show you the wounds in others’ lives as well.  If you’re like me, your perspective is about to change.

Healing for Our Wounds

Justin Hibbard

I’ve appreciated so many of your responses to these Reflections on my time at the Wild at Heart Boot Camp in Colorado.  I feel very vulnerable sharing this healing breakthrough that the Lord has done in my life, and you all have honored me with your comments.  My prayer is that the Lord would use these lessons to bring healing in your life as well.

Compared to most guys, I would say I’m pretty even keeled.  I love Jesus, I’m a pastor, my wife admits that I’m a good husband and father, I’m a decent guy, I work hard, etc.  But Jesus is not in the business of comparing me to most guys.  He’s looking right into my heart.  And I’ve got to admit, until I attended the Wild at Heart Boot Camp, I didn’t realize how much junk was buried in there.

You may think that wounds are obvious, that we wouldn’t need God to reveal them to us.  David cries out in Psalm 139, “Search me, God, and know my heart;  test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me…”  Even David needed God to bring his wounds and buried sins to his mind; sometimes they’re too hidden and tangled in our lives to even distinguish.

David’s prayer is a stark contrast to what society tells us to do with our wounds.  A friend of mine revealed that his dad used to tell him, “Men don’t cry” and “Pros play hurt.”  The words are familiar in our society, which teaches us to bury wounds or ignore them, and without realizing it, input starts becoming output.  Like physical wounds that go unmedicated, we become infected.  Our tone turns negative or defensive, we become calloused, sarcasm becomes our native tongue, we’re afraid of everything.  Our self medication becomes addictions – anger, abusive behavior, alcohol, drugs, pornography, eating disorders, etc.  It turns dark and ugly pretty quickly.

At the retreat, I prayed, “God, please reveal the wounds in my life.”  Wow!  Just wow!  One by one, Jesus started revealing scenes of my life to me.  He showed me how each of those situations wounded me, and even some of the ways I had tried to cope with that wound.  After the session, my friend James asked me how things went.  I simply said, “Wow, I’m really messed up.”

Like the Samaritan woman at the well, Jesus wasn’t pointing out my wounds to embarrass me.  He was identifying my wounds so that I would allow Him to heal them instead of burying them or self-medicating in my own way.  To a lot of people, those wounds might seem minor compared to the junk many people have deep in their heart, but like I said, Jesus is not in the business of comparing us to others.  Each of us have buried wounds, and while the world may call them insignificant, the fact that they have altered our personality, our ambition, and distracted us from our calling demonstrates just how significant they are.  As a friend of mine noted, “Often times people say, ‘I’m over it,’ but all this means is that they’ve ignored it rather than seeking healing.”

Seeking healing means inviting Jesus into the wound.  In one situation, I saw myself as a boy.  Only this time I saw Jesus come into the scene, take me by the hand, and lead me out of the room.  I saw a scene early in ministry, where I was being berated by an angry pastor.  He was pointing his finger at me and yelling.  Suddenly I saw Jesus step in front of the man, eclipsing me from his anger. In some cases, Jesus revealed a wound to me, and my surprised response was, “Really God, this has affected my life?” Gently, He said, “More than you know.”

Many of you have deep-seeded wounds.  They might be something your father or mother said to you (the deepest wounds come from our parents).  Maybe they said nothing to you; maybe you were abandoned.  The wounds might be the way your boss or fellow employee treats you.  They might have come from the actions of a sibling.  It might even be something a pastor said to you.  In fact, right now, you might be feeling convicted about something you’ve said or done, but before you go there, deal with your wounds.  When you can identify your own wounds, it will help you identify the wounding you’ve done to others.

If you’re not sure where to begin, start by turning everything off and sitting in a quiet place.  Pray, “Jesus, please reveal the wounds in my life.”  Focus and let God show you the events where you’ve been wounded.  Here’s what you might experience: you might see a face or a scene.  You might be surprised by the events Jesus recalls for you.  Satan is going to try to thwart this exercise.  He may put a thought in your head like, “This is crazy” or “this is psycho stuff” or “that didn’t hurt you; you’re more manly than this.”  Bind him and cast him out in the Name of Jesus.  As Jesus reveals these scenes to you, invite Him into these wounds.  Ask Him, “Lord, reveal yourself in this scene.”

We will never approach Jesus for healing if we don’t realize our wound.  Today, we are the woman with the bleeding problem, and Jesus is standing right there.  Reach out.  He will heal you.

Life Out of Control

Justin Hibbard

Friends, I have a lot to share with you about my trip with a couple of brothers to Wild at Heart Boot Camp in Colorado. Let me just say that it was the most life-transforming experience I’ve ever had since giving my life to Jesus over fifteen years ago. I’m still processing all of the things that happened and that I learned, and I hope to share them with you as time goes on.

Let me share my heart with you. Over the past couple of months, I’ve been exhausted, frustrated, etc. I’ve felt trapped, like life was spinning out this frantic pace, and I was doing everything just to hold on. I’ve felt as if I was always three steps behind. I’ve been frustrated at work, anxious about whether or not God wants me to switch full-time jobs, and so on.

The reality, which I learned this weekend, was that my despair, frustration, and even bouts of anger were the fruit of me trying to control my situation. Without even realizing it, I was competing with God. Subconsciously a war waged within my soul. I entertained the oldest demonic lie that I could be like God, and the result was that I closed my heart to Him. He’s my friend, my Father, my Savior, but when I tried to take His job, He became my enemy. Ultimately, I traded “being with God” for “doing for God,” because when I’m doing something, I’m controlling the situation.

I knew I needed to get away, and so this trip to the middle of the Rockies in Nowhere, Colorado couldn’t have come at a more opportune time.

I came anxious for the Holy Spirit to answer my questions. “God, just tell me what you want to do. Do you want me to quit my job? Do you want me to pursue full-time ministry? God how do I balance everything with my family? What do you have for me down the road?”

You want to know what God told me? There I was sitting on the side of the mountain overlooking the valley. My eyes were pressed closed. Visions of radiant light came into view, and the Lord said, “Love me. Just love me.”

And so I did in a way I haven’t for months… if not years. I told Him how much I loved Him and His presence, and I let my soul worship Him. “Consume me Holy Spirit,” I kept repeating. He told me how much He loved me and how proud He was of me. It had nothing to do with what I had or hadn’t accomplished; it had everything to do with me as His son.

God did not answer those pressing questions, and somehow, I am okay with that. What He did answer was my need to be in constant communion with Him, the intimacy for which my soul ached. As I devoted my whole being to loving the Holy Spirit, I became satisfied with an answer like, “Just love me. Trust me. I’ll tell you where to go.” How good it felt to be a boy again – free and secure – in the arms of my Father.

Brothers and sisters, many of you, like me, want the answers to life. I see it on your faces on Sunday. I read it in the prayer chain throughout the week. The questions, the problems, the crises are immense. Somehow life isn’t working like we want, like we think it should. If only we do more, if only we pray harder, if only we take the reigns… these human solutions are not the answer. Perhaps we need to begin with this statement that I heard this past weekend. “We are fiercely committed to making life work on our terms, but God has rigged life so that it won’t work apart from Him.”

Let me challenge you to get alone today, turn off the television, put the kids to bed, and just sit in the presence of God. If you’re not sure how to give God control, maybe beginning with this prayer will help:

“Holy Spirit, I admit that I’ve tried to control my life. I admit that I want the answers. God I admit that my lack of coming to you, my anxiety, my anger, my frustrations with life’s situations are evidence of my desperation to control life and the situations around me. God, forgive me, and please take control. I give you my life. I give you my dreams and my ambitions. What is it you want to say to me?”

Sit there. Let Him talk. Resist the devil’s voice that creeps in telling you that this is bizarre or that it won’t work. That’s just Satan slithering around the tree just like he did in Eden. Tell him to go away in the Name of Jesus, and open your heart to the Holy Spirit. He’s got something big for you, some word He wants you to hear. Just ask, “Holy Spirit, what is it you want to say to me?” And don’t just do this once. If you’re like me, you’ve cultivated a habit of trying to take the reigns, and it’s going to take a daily commitment of submission to the Holy Spirit to entrust Him with our lives.