The Other Side of the Wardrobe

A few weeks ago, my devastated and ailing grandmother left her home for the first time in over a year to attend her son’s graveside funeral.  He was my Uncle Roger, swept away rather suddenly from this earth at too young an age.  Having bought a number of cemetery plots, my grandmother recognized that the very place where she sat to mourn my uncle was the place reserved for her.  It was a plot between her late husband (who had been gone for nearly forty years) and her other son (my Uncle Bobby) who died suddenly five years before.

Less than a week later, my grandmother took her final breath, and one week later, she was laid to rest on that very spot in the earth.

The image of that cemetery the day we buried my grandmother will forever be engrained in my mind:  seeing my grandmother’s casket next to her only two sons, the fresh soil over my Uncle Roger’s grave, the thought of two funerals in the span of a week for a little family named Slaton.  It was too much death to bear at once.

I came home that weekend from saying goodbye to two family members, and a couple of days later, I stood in the hospital alongside many friends, saying goodbye to a good friend named Terry Suttles.  A dear saint who made the matters of heaven a priority in her life, she took residence in her heavenly home about a week ago.

If I had to sum up 2014 for you, it would sound like a eulogy – a year where too many people (both little ones and older ones) have passed away.

Some months ago, I sat in the living room of a couple who had just experienced the devastation of a miscarriage.  Having lost our fourth child in-utero three years ago, ministering to those who have also suffered a miscarriage has become a familiar ministry for myself and my wife Karlene.  I offered to pray with this couple, and when I closed my eyes, I got this incredible yet brief vision.

There in a beautiful meadow, I saw our children standing together.  This was the second vision I had of our daughter Hope, and she looked the same as the first vision I saw of her – a perfect little girl, appearing to be no more than nine-years-old, long, straight dark hair, and stoic yet lively eyes.  It’s hard to explain, but when I think about her face, it looks like the face of a child but with the wisdom and knowledge of someone who has lived a long, long time.

“I got this glimpse of our children playing together,” I told this couple.  “I can only imagine what heaven will be like – this amazing reunion with our lost children who have been living for eternity.”

Eternity is an impossible concept to grasp.  We often think of this life ending and eternal life beginning, but I like something that Dr. Bill Smith said, “Eternity is not something screwed on to the end of this life; it’s entering into a world with no time.”  In fact, Jesus didn’t say, “Eternal life begins when you die.”  No, He said, “This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent” (John 17:3).

I’ve begun to think of eternity by comparing it with a familiar story – The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.  The story begins with four children fleeing to the English countryside when Nazi Germany bombs their hometown of London.  Their world is suddenly turned upside down – no family, no friends, no familiar landscapes.  Yet in that foreign land, in a professor’s estate that they temporarily made as their home, they discovered a wardrobe – a magical portal to a land called Narnia.

No matter how much time they spent in Narnia, no time passed on earth.  They became part of a an epic, they learned to fight, they defeated the White Witch, and they became kings and queens.  So much happened in their adventure that they forgot about their lives in the English countryside back on earth.   As they pushed their way through the fir trees at a vaguely familiar place, they found themselves back in a wardrobe full of fur coats.  In a moment, they transformed from young adults back to little children.  Years of adventure had taken place in Narnia, but on the other side of the wardrobe, not a minute had passed.

While the story ends there, I often wonder what their lives would have been like.  They may have appeared to be four little children, but the reality that they shared was a lifetime of adventures on the other side of the wardrobe.

In those visions, when I stare into the eyes of a little girl I never got to know here on earth, I realize that the Kingdom of God is now.  It may not have taken over this earth yet, but it doesn’t mean it’s something only relegated to the future.  When I think about July 9, 2011, and what I was doing here on earth, I think about holding a tiny lifeless human being.  I think about the tears and the overwhelming pain.  I think about the loss, and the grief, and wondering if the heartache would ever go away.  But when I stare at her across the wardrobe, I see a little girl who seems to have lived for an eternity.

When I think about those who have passed away, I think particularly about those who fought long, hard battles with illnesses, and I imagine them slowly stepping through the wardrobe.  Individuals like my grandmother and Terry both lived with a mission of caring for others.  I think their resolve to care for others added many days to their lives.  But I also think that the closer they got to heaven, the more they stepped through the wardrobe and experienced Narnia, the more the fears of leaving this earth subsided.  Death can invoke great fear and uncertainty, particularly of leaving behind our loved ones and our responsibilities.  I think heaven has a way of putting those fears to rest.

I imagine that the brave new world of heaven doesn’t seem like an unfamiliar landscape when we first enter it.  I tend to believe that we’ll feel more at home than in the world we called home.  Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, “You have written eternity on our hearts.”  St. Augustine prayed, “God, you have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in you.”  John Eldredge comments that when we find God, we actually find our hearts.  We feel more like ourselves.  Why wouldn’t heaven carry the same familiarity that we find when we find God?

The truth is that eternity is now, and when we experience God, we experience a heightened sense of reality.  Something you’re doing now is affecting a world without time and space – a world that you will not only experience one day but are actually more familiar with than you realize.  One extraordinary aspect about Jesus was that He had an eternal perspective in this temporal world.  It was as though He could see both sides of the wardrobe simultaneously in a way that we cannot.  In Luke 10, when the disciples reported to Jesus that even the demons had submitted to them in His Name, Jesus replied, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven” (Luke 10:18).  He could see that one side of the wardrobe was affecting the other.

For us standing on this side, we have loss, grief, and incredible wounds.  But right now, beyond a doorway we can neither see nor touch, there is a world filled with the laughter we once heard or never got the chance to hear.  On this side, we see a world where life begins and ends.  On the other side, there is a world where adventures go on and on while not an earthly minute passes.  We think of death as Satan’s greatest triumph.  In reality, Jesus has redeemed death, fashioning it into a wardrobe – an avenue through which we enter the greatest part of life.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26).

The Perfect Storm. The Perfect God.

Christ in the Storm on the Sea of GalileeLudolf Backhuysen, 1695Have you ever wondered why Jesus led His disciples onto the Sea of Galilee, knowing that there would be a giant squall that nearly sank the boat?

That was the question I proposed last week as I preached to a lovely congregation in Guanajuato, Mexico.  But little did I know that I was going to live the message I preached.

The story begins with the church generously asking me if I would preach the following Sunday.  There were so many reasons to decline the offer –  my Spanish is rusty, I’m shy, there are so many others who could give a much more dynamic sermon, we had to leave on the following Sunday around noon.  But I knew these were just excuses.  I knew that this was something God was requesting of me.

And so I began my sermon preparation, asking the very important first question, “What should I speak about?”

Amidst the ferocious, night winds that pounded our hacienda in the mountains surrounding Guanajuato, followed by peaceful calm mornings, the Lord whispered the story of Jesus calming the storm into my heart.

I read the story anew, taking note of how the disciples worked to keep the boat afloat until suddenly they were forced to wake Jesus.  I saw how they treated their Rabbi as their last resort and then how they accused Him for not caring about their well-being.  The Lord opened my heart to how prayer changes everything – how God sent them into this perfect storm to demonstrate to them how perfect He is – how a big God can calm big storms.

I had enough material to write a book.  Oh, if only I were going to preach in English.

As the week carried on, and we traveled and filled our days with activities, it was clear that I wasn’t going to be able to have my typical 15 – 30 hours of sermon prep time.  A couple of times throughout the week, I even had dreams of showing up ill-prepared to preach with no visual presentation (my equivalent of dreams where you’re naked in a public place).  I began getting nervous, wondering how I was going to possibly get this done.

I decided I needed to consult the Rabbi sleeping in the bottom of the boat.  “Jesus, I’m not sure how this is all going to work out, but I’m trusting you.  You asked me to do this – to cross this sea, so I’m trusting you to get me through it.”

By the time Saturday rolled around, I had most of my message written out.  Writing out sermons is something I never do, but I trembled at the thought of standing on the platform, stuttering through a microphone as I reached for long-forgotten vocabulary words.  That Saturday night, Estela Price selflessly put her packing and sleep on hold to help me fix mis-conjugated verbs and poor word choices.  We finished at 2 AM, but by the time we left for church around 9 AM the next morning, I hadn’t even fully read it over once.

The waves began crashing against my brain.  “You’re just going to read this?  Didn’t you see the dynamic preacher last week?  This is how you’re going to follow it up?  This is how you’re going to represent American pastors?”  I wanted to sink.

I paused.  “Jesus, this is your work.  This is your message.  Speak through me.”

Armed with no striking visual slides to take the attention off my nervous fidgeting, I stood in front of this beautiful congregation.  I simply read the script – walking them through the story of the little boat that almost sank, telling them about the peace that Jesus offers, encouraging them to have a life filled with prayer.  I prayed with them – a little anxious that I didn’t have any notes – but trusting that God would put the words in my mouth.  I encouraged them to invite Jesus into a fear that they had in the past, the present, or the future.  One of the things that came to my lips was, “Maybe your fear has to do with a death of a family member or friend.”  My eyes were closed, but I could hear sniffles – the sound of Jesus calming storms.

After I sat down, the Elder that invited me to preach very graciously thanked me and then asked if there was anyone who wanted to invite the Prince of Peace in their life.  People didn’t hesitate.  Eight or nine people rushed forward.  I learned later that some of them were from a family that experienced a death in the past week and decided to come to church for the first time.

In an amazing act of generosity, the Elder asked if I would lead them to Jesus, and so I prayed with and for them.  “Jesus, I give you my life.  I want you to be my Lord and my God.”

Everything about what happened last week should conclude with me telling you that I gave a very awful sermon, put a congregation to sleep, and embarrassed myself.  Never have I been so uncomfortable and so unprepared in relation to preaching.  But something different happened.  I understand Paul’s words from 2 Corinthians 12:9 when he said, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

This story isn’t about a dynamic sermon given by a confident pastor.  Oh no, quite the contrary.  This is about a God who takes our weak efforts and blows away our expectations.  I’ve never given a sermon followed by people running forward to receive Jesus; there’s no logical reason why it should happen while I was reading a message in my rusty second language.  Sometimes there is no human logic behind what God does and how He does it.  There are only miracles.  This story is not about a perfect vessel.  It’s about a perfect God resting inside the stern.

As we flew home from Dallas to Washington D.C., I looked out the window and saw an enormous, beautiful moon.  It appeared thousands of miles closer, but I knew it was merely an illusion.  Moons don’t change size or come closer.  It’s a matter of perception, for when they’re on the horizon next to objects that seem large to us, we appreciate their grandiose size.  So it is a true with God.  The waves of our circumstances and trials seem overwhelming.  God often brings us to those enormous storms to show us just how big He is.

Mark 4 tells us that the disciples weren’t the only ones on the Sea of Galilee that day.  There were a lot of little vessels being tossed and inundated by the tumultuous waves.  And just as they were all affected by the storm, they were all blessed by Jesus’ miracle.  While I faced my own storm and saw Jesus’ work, there are some that will forever tell the story from their vantage point about how Jesus showed up one Sunday morning in the middle of the storm and said, “Peace.  Be still.”